pink

silent tears

stream

down, down,

lost in the swirl

of rain shower

warmth.

she feels

that part of her

which defines beauty,

sensuality

and desire.

a gentle cup,

press then rub.

her mind wonders

to mama

and what she was told 

to look for.

is it there?

the dreaded thing

which threatens

to pull depression

from the womb

of happiness?

one more time...

this was not the future

laid out

in her best plans.

mouthing prayers,

while soft squeezes soft,

a slow stroll

brings her face to face

with lost hope

and tainted faith.

she curses the woman

who looks back at her.

how could she let this happen?

head in hands,

tired, listless 

emotions

drag her to the kitchen.

one, four, five

shots of tequila,

before glass shatters

against black & blue backsplash.

she hums melancholy coltrane,

dances and twirls

to the syncopated loneliness, 

and collapses

onto cold white linoleum.

with puffy eyes,

pink from indulging denial,

she laughs herself to sleep

and dreams

of black & white yesterdays.